An Unpleasant Run

It was my last run before heading to college. Five miles into it, I knew I was going to have a problem. Like other runners know, these moments are inevitable. Today would not be my lucky day. It was summertime, so the high school was closed to the public. Despite this, nearly twenty cars remained in the front parking lot of my school. I was in a state of panic, as time was crucial. Looking around for a place to hide, since the school doors were locked, all I had found was a small bush nearby. The bush would essentially prove to be useless, but with it being the only thing around I made it the site where I intended to take care of my business. I had to shit.

The dilemma – If I proceeded to the front of the bush then administrators inside my school may witness. For that I could be in some serious shit, figuratively speaking. If I went on the backside of the bush then all the cars passing by on the street could take witness to my indecency.

Solution – In a state of panic, I did what probably was the worst idea I’ve ever had. Moving to the side of the bush, I proceeded to let this dump take its course. Now I had exposed myself to not only the cars passing by but to the administrators as well. Stupid move of course, but this embarrassment was nothing compared to what happened next….

With knees bent, thighs parallel to the ground, and shorts at my feet, I heard a sound. I looked up in this moment only to find a lady with her little daughter sitting there inside their car watching the event that had transpired. The window to this lady's car was rolled down all the way. They sat no more than five feet away from me. Both of their jaws dropped, and so did mine. In that moment, it was as if time had stood still. I remained in the squatting position for a few seconds before I realized what had just happened.

“Shit, shit, shit! What do I do now?!” I thought to myself.

Pulling up my shorts, I stood straight up to look the lady in her eyes for one last time. From there I grabbed my keys and walked quickly to my car.

My family laughed as later I retold my story. My dad summed up all that had happened in two simple words: "shit happens."