Outright a thought provoking and deeply moving story, Chbosky’s novel will forever remain close to my heart.
The book, revolving around the life of Charlie, at some points focuses on Charlie’s love for a girl named Sam. For me, Sam represented my first love M. I first met M my freshman year of college. She and I were both on the same cross-country team. I was nearly infatuated with M at first sight. She was mesmerizingly beautiful.
Eavesdropping on a conversation between her and the other female athletes, I heard she had signed up to take an intro course to German. Desperate to meet, I rushed back to my dorm to sign up for German too. It was then that M and I hit it off. Class consisted merely of small talk, until notice of our first upcoming quiz. Mentioning we should study together, of which we did, it was at that time that we would connect on a deeper level. From there, time would pass while M and I eventually ended up becoming best friends.
Similar to Charlie’s love for Sam, M did not return the same feelings of love that I had begun to make known to her. I was crushed. Nine months in however, M brought me to her room late one night. That night changed everything. It was from there, I had assumed she finally loved me.
One of Charlie’s conclusions elicited a deeply rooted emotional response from within me.
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
I assumed, as in Charlie’s case, that people often find reasons for not taking a chance on those they love most. Could it be due to fear of rejection or losing a friendship? Whatever the reason, I feel bothered by Charlie’s outlook.
For me, I may be inadequate in terms of how I view myself at times. However, to this day I would never let a good thing go without a fight. Life is all about taking chances. The greater the risk, the greater the reward.
I wish Charlie would have fought for Sam.
M and I would eventually fall apart. However, those nine months will forever remain something special.
