Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Hallucinating in Hollywood

Desperate to travel, but low on funds, I was in need of an adventure. With $85 in the bank, I searched for places to travel via Greyhound bus. After hours of searching, I had found a place. Hollywood. Round trip $80.
From there, I purchased my ticket and proceeded to Walmart. I spent the remaining $5 on twenty-four toasted-cheese crackers (I could buy a dozen for $2.) I threw the crackers in my backpack, along with MapQuest site to site directions once I arrived in California. I would leave from Tempe, Arizona, in two hours - at 3am. I was impatient.
Borrowing my neighbor’s longboard and knife, I set out for the trip of a lifetime. I brought the longboard as my means of transportation, and the knife for protection.
After all, I would be traveling through the notoriously dangerous East LA for three days without shelter or much money. I figured that I would simply drink water from water fountains, and site seeing would naturally be free of cost.
My arrival started off on the wrong foot. Never having used a longboard, I rode it downhill on a street close to Sunset Boulevard. Bad idea. The board began to wobble as I picked up speed, just before it launched me out into LA traffic. Cuts and bruises appeared on my body almost instantly, and never before had I seen such an abundance of middle fingers. From then on, I would travel by foot.
My first night, apart from the longboard incident, was a success. I was able to sit in a heated auditorium and watch an episode of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, in which he interviewed Bill Maher and Cam Newton. I even appeared on the screen for a brief second and shook Leno’s hand. It was amazing.
The Hollywood sign was something else entirely. Standing at a well-known lookout spot, I was able to view it up close. My friends and family had no idea where I was, and I stood there, in that moment, thinking how interested they might be hearing of my wild adventure. It was truly something special for a boy who had rarely traveled.
Later that night I became lost. I had no idea how to get back to Sunset Boulevard. With three people providing wrong directions, I eventually found myself trying to hitchhike my way through parts of Mulholland Drive, and even worse – the interstate. No rides were offered.
Despite these adversities, I was determined to make it to the strip. Thanks to MapQuest and my Garmin GPS, I later deduced that I walked twenty-five miles that day. I was exhausted.
After spending hours on the strip, I headed into the Roosevelt Hotel where I hoped to sleep in the lobby. At 3am, however, an employee told me I had to leave. A few minutes before then, a girl approached me. She was about 5’6” with short brown hair and a slim figure. She asked if I would like to spend the night with her. She was flirting, and so was I. Upon leaving the hotel, we walked about a mile to her place, hand in hand. At her door she beckoned me inside, but I stopped. Something didn’t feel right. “What would happen when I enter,” I thought. Would this be reminiscent of when Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye hired a prostitute? Would a couple of thugs be inside ready to jump me and take my belongings? I had no idea what awaited behind that door. Thus, I grew scared in the moment and backed out. A night of sleep and sex sounded great, but it wasn’t worth the risk. It was sure difficult to pass up though.
Walking back to the strip, I decided to sleep on the street for the remainder of the night. It was thirty-five degrees, and I had no jacket. It was then that I befriended a cop. After I told him my story, he agreed to keep an eye on me till it was his time off duty. However, I couldn’t sleep with it being so cold, so instead I used the longboard to skate up and down the strip all night weaving in and out of each of the celebrities’ stars on the ground, as if I was slaloming.
Morning would soon come, with McDonalds being the first to open its door nearby. I wanted inside, to simply escape the cold. Once inside, I searched my backpack to find nearly a dollar in change! I ordered a cheeseburger. “Thank God,” I thought. At least it wasn’t another pack of crackers. As I bit into the burger, I had my first ever hallucination. The two old ladies beside me had the same exact voices of Kelso and Eric from That 70’s Show. I was fading in and out of micro-naps, and by body was about to call it quits. Having walked twenty-five miles with no coffee or caffeine supplements, as well as having no sleep over a 48 hour period, I was in a completely different world from those around me.
I decided to leave the McDonald’s quickly after my hallucination, as I knew the comfort of the booths and the heat from being indoors would lead to a nap, where anyone could then mess with me. I was a nervous wreck.
Walking through parts of East LA, I encountered a homeless man whom I had seen the night before. His pants were completely down, and he was shitting on the street. I was nauseated. Running away from the man, I proceeded down the street. It was then a younger man, about thirty years in age, approached me asking for change. I had none, but to keep awake I started small talk. About five minutes into the conversation, a woman walked up to us. I assumed it was his ex-girlfriend who approached both of us. The man started to yell at her. She yelled back. He struck her with a fist. Cops rushed to the scene, and I fled away.
The last part of my trip consisted of sitting in on a live taping of Doctor Phil. To those who question why I chose Doctor Phil, you must know that the taping takes four hours, which meant I could grab a good bit of shut eye. Furthermore, a teenage girl would tell her parents about her recent pregnancy. I was eager to watch the drama unfold! After standing in the line for admittance for over an hour, I finally made it through. I stood waiting as the next person to enter. My time had come. I looked down to see the lady’s watch behind me, for my cell-phone’s battery had died, and it read 8:56. “Is that the right time?!” I exclaimed. “Yes,” she replied. I panicked, for my bus was to leave at 9pm that night. If I missed my bus, then I would be stranded in LA. I darted past security and ran out into the street, towards the bus stop a half mile away. About two minutes into it I stopped, realizing something important. My bus left at 9pm, and it was only 9am. “Damn it!” I exclaimed.
From there I was so mentally beaten, I decided to call my adventure quits and head back to the bus stop, where I waited ten hours before heading back to Tempe.

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