Losing Focus

I can only imagine what it must have been like for Josh Davis after his swim at the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

His event: 200 Freestyle

His goal: Win a medal

…I first met Josh when I was no more than 12 years old. His story was touching. Already having won three gold medals as part of relay teams for Team USA, Josh was hungry to win his first individual medal.

Apart from the relays, Josh was only scheduled to swim one event. Therefore, he couldn’t afford to make a mistake. The 200 meter freestyle was his one shot to prove to himself and others he had what was necessary to finish on top of the podium.

To this day, Josh’s description of the race remains etched deep into my memory. Josh recalls the race in full, and in great detail, but for our sake I must skip to the tail end. Josh recounts looking over and noticing a group of guys, all in the mix for a top three finish. It was then, on the last lap that Josh dug deep and mustered out every last ounce of energy his body could give. He touched the wall, finishing the race, unaware of how he had placed. With a glance at the scoreboard, the results read…

Josh Davis – 4^th

His time, 1:46.73, was actually faster than the previous world record! The race was something else! Four guys had swum faster than ever before, a feat rarely seen in the sport of swimming.

Josh’s reaction? He cried.

Josh was disappointed to miss out on winning a medal.

My reaction? I thought the dude was a boss.

To me, the medal was irrelevant. What this guy did in the pool, during that race, was simply incredible. But for himself, he only saw it as failure.

I think at some point Josh lost focus on the good that came from that race, and instead focused on the bad. Truth be told, I can’t see a reason why he shouldn’t have held his head up high. But like most of us, we’ll never be satisfied unless we can have it all.

After all, it’s human nature.

I judged Josh in that moment, in a negative manner; as I told myself I’d never do the same.

I believed, and still currently do, that it’s important to focus on the good things in life, and recognize that even though we may want it all, having it all isn’t necessary in helping to find the happiness we are all so desperately searching for.

However, nearly ten years later I’d make the same mistake.

The situation may have been completely different, but my outlook was the same of Josh’s during his swim in Sydney.

Her name was Lauren. Lauren, my ex-girlfriend, had called it quits to the relationship. To be honest, it was mutual. We both knew it was ending.

Hurtful remarks were made, and the two of us left on a bitter note.

To my friends I vented, claiming the time spent together had been a waste.

I was focusing on the bad.

Dammit. Later, I'd recognize my mistake.

What I should have been doing was nothing. No venting, no reaching out, nor anything else related.

The damage had been done, as the two of us were finished, completely.

Similar to Josh’s experience in losing a medal, I felt I had lost the love of my life. I focused on the bad (in this case the waste of time), rather than seeing the good (the time we shared together).

So… On that note, I feel today I am turning over a new leaf, with this newly found perspective, as I head into another chapter of my life.

Lauren, from this point on will serve only as a past memory, as we (Lauren and I) determined earlier this same day. However, without question, my memory of her will remain a good one.

Nah, make it a great one.

 

I thank God for all the blessings he has bestowed upon my life so far, with Lauren being one of the many.

To Lauren, thank you for all the special memories, as I wish you the best in wherever life may take you.